Where the Saints Have Trod

Wow, these three weeks have passed so much faster than I have expected. I remember when I believed that the day would never come that I would finally step aboard the plane for the Philippines, now that day is, in all sincerity, so close that it causes butterflies in my stomach. Yes, butterflies. I have always thought that I would never be nervous in the least bit, but as I contemplate he immensity of committing a year of my life to the dense jungle, to hoards of mosquitos, to episodes of malaria, and to people who give no guarantee of reciprocating the same dedication. John and Dale have warned us and warned us of the emotions and thoughts that one can experience as culture shock sets in. Dale even shared with us how in the strugle and hardships, He was tempted to give up faith in the care of God. They say that it will be "when, not if". Am I really ready to face these colossal hardships that have been presented to me and still retain a faith in the care of God?
During "The Crucible", an adventure weekend designed to help the student missionaries to face the above mentioned hardships in a mild way, I began to realize that being a missionary will not be something that my mind naturally desires to do. Here is a short story that Dale Goodson shared with us.
One wet day as his family drove along a muddy Papua New Ginuea road, his truck bogged down in axle deep mud! He tried to push it out, he tried to pray it out. Minutes of his precious time passed by. With a deep expression on his face Dale told us of how he began to doubt God. "If God will not even take care of his own missionaries, then why would I want to serve Him?" Dale tried to find a verse in the Bible that he could wrap God around like, "When the missionary's truck gets stuck in the mud, God will send His angels to push it out." But the only verse that could come to his mind was "All things work together for good". Time and again he tried to think of a verse that he could wrap God around, but "All things work together for good." was all he could think of. Finally, he realized, that maybe God needed this time to show in the scheme of the great controversy that Dale Goodson is faithful to God even when He seems as if He is not there.
This story made such a deep impact on my as I was struggling with the knowledge that there will be times that I doubt if God is even present and active in my life. I have been blessed and have been able to come to a decision before I am ever presented with the situation. "I will trust in God, even if it seems as if He is against me." I have enough evidence of His love and guidance in the Bible and through the experience that God has given me that I can say with Job, "Though He slay me, yet will I trust Him."
I cannot imagine setting out into a mission field without this valuable counsel/insight. God, in his wisdom has brought all 9 of AFM's student missionaries into contact with those tempered soldiers of the cross, who have wrestled with God and overcome. I feel extremely priviledged and obliged to walk faithfully with Christ where the saints have trod.